Being the Bully (Part Two) - Katie Murphy
Hello
everybody! My name is Katie Murphy. I'm a junior here at MSU. I'm studying
Recreation, Parks, and Leisure services with an emphasis of Leisure Planning
Management. Of course nobody know what that even means right? Basically I want
to plan fun events and create programs for communities and recreation
facilities. And I'm also a student leader here at crossroads.
Today we’re
talking about bullying. You’ve all seen it happen. Maybe some of you have been
bullied. Others were the bully. I'm
going to talk to you guys a little bit about how I was actually the bully.
Which is hard to admit. You know, where I'm at in my life now, I don't want to
tell people that's who I was. It's not a fun topic, or something to brag about.
But, every experience has taught me something valuable and helped me get to be
the person I am today.
There's two
times that really sort of stick out to me. I wasn't usually the instigator when
it came to bullying but I definitely joined in. There was this one time in
middle school that a group of girls actually created a burn book like from the
movie Mean Girls. There was some pretty horrible stuff in it. I didn't really
want to write in it but I was pressured by my friends to. I wrote something
about a teacher, I'm not sure what it was. But we got in huge trouble and the
teacher I wrote about saw it. I remember
thinking I actually liked the teacher as a person. I just found one thing I
didn’t like about them that I could write about, and shine the spotlight on.
That’s what bullies do. They ignore the whole person and find one little
weakness and make it huge.
The other
time I can think of was when there was a rumor going around about one of my
friends. This was when I was a freshmen or sophomore in high school. People
were saying that she was a liar and would make fun of her voice for being a
little bit deeper and would say it sounded like a boy’s voice. And I did not
stick up for her. In fact, I stood against her.
Bullying and joining in to the bullying, it never
made me feel good. Even in the moment. Especially after. I would feel terrible
about it.
Then in my later years of high school, I changed
and I began standing up for the people who got bullied. There was this one
class I remember, a tech class you know where you basically learn how to type?
So yeah we had a lot of free time in that class. This one boy, John (name is
changed of course), who was a year younger than me was making fun of this girl
I was in cheerleading with. He was telling her she was ugly and that no one
would ever like her basically. And I overheard it and went bezerk. I told him
he has no better chances and that it was low of him to say such things and that
he was obviously doing it because he has no self esteem and that he shouldn’t
target her because she’s great.
The thing is though - I was kind of being the
bully to the bully.
Before I go any further - you all are probably
wondering where God is in all of this, right? Well when I was the bully - I
felt a lot like God had to be super disappointed in me. I didn’t even really
want to believe in God or have anything to do with him. But you know what I’ve
learned? What God has shown me? That He is a loving and forgiving God. That He
knows even the darkest corners of my heart. And even though I make mistakes, I
don’t have to worry. There’s nothing you or I can do to earn God’s grace and
God’s love - and there’s nothing we can do to get it taken away either.
What about the situation when I stuck up for Meg?
It felt good to help her out and stick up for her - I got to see a smile on her
face and she was happy. But I was still being a bully. I was just bullying the
bully. And it really didn’t feel good. I felt bad because even though I helped
someone, I was hurting someone else. And do you think that bully stopped bullying
others after that? No. He probably thought, well, now I need to target weak
people when they’re alone and there isn’t someone there who’s not afraid to
stand up to them.
God tells us to love our enemies. To love the
bullies. That’s what Jesus did - and it made a change! Jesus’s ways seemed
silly - he was doing things totally different from everyone else. But the way
he did it changed things, and it changed hearts. People listened. And that’s
what we as Christians have to try to do - follow his lead. Love our enemies.
The people I’ve been most inspired by in my life are the ones who react with
love and who inspire others to change - not try to dictate their actions and
force it.
Don’t be the bully. Be the change. And let God
change you. And find a place like Crossroads. Crossroads is so amazing. There’s
absolutely no bullying. All are welcome here. I never felt pressure to be
anyone or anything other than who I am here, and that’s what made me stay. Find
a place like Crossroads you can be a part of. And be that person who makes
others feel welcome and at home. Because that’s all that anyone’s ever looking
for. Even though I was never the one bullied, of course that is what I was
looking for too. We all want a safe place where we can be accepted for who we are.
God accepts us, and we should accept each other. And remember that we were all
made in God’s image.
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